The Biology of Belonging: Finding Home in Community

There’s a moment in every yoga class I teach when something shifts. It’s subtle – a collective exhale, perhaps, or the way our breath begins to synchronise. In that moment, we’re no longer just individuals on separate mats. We’re connected. And recently, I’ve come to understand that this feeling isn’t just emotional or spiritual – it’s deeply, beautifully biological.

The Wisdom of the Wandering Nerve

The vagus nerve, that remarkable wanderer connecting our brain to our heart, lungs, and digestive system, plays a fascinating role in how we experience connection. According to polyvagal theory, developed by researcher Stephen Porges, this nerve system has evolved to support what’s called our “social engagement system” – behaviours that include social communication and self-soothing.

Here’s what moves me most: when we feel safe and connected to others, our nervous systems actually shift into a state that optimises our health, growth, and restoration. It’s as if our bodies are hardwired for togetherness, as if evolution itself is whispering that we were never meant to do this alone.

When individuals tap into this social engagement system through genuine connection, their nervous systems maintain a capacity to connect and to calm, even during profound challenges. Think about that – our very biology supports us through difficulty when we’re in community with others.

The Great Unravelling

Yet we’re living through what researchers call a ‘loneliness epidemic.’ 45% of adults in England—25 million people—feel lonely. There’s been a threefold rise in young people with only one close friend or none at all since 2011.

We’ve traded neighbourhood gatherings for scrolling, shared meals for curated posts, presence for productivity. The digital age often encourages shallow, virtual connections that prioritise quantity over quality, leaving us surrounded by hundreds of online “friends” yet feeling profoundly alone.

As Dorothy Day wisely observed, “We have all known the long loneliness and we have learned that the only solution is love and that love comes with community.”

And Herman Melville reminds us: “We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibres connect us with our fellow men.”

These aren’t just poetic sentiments. Research shows that social connection can reduce inflammation, lower the risk of serious health problems, foster mental health, and prevent early death. Conversely, loneliness and social isolation increase the risk of stroke, heart disease, diabetes, and cognitive decline.

Our bodies know what our minds sometimes forget: we need each other.

Coming Home to the Mat

Which brings me back to my yoga classes, to the practice I’m so grateful to have returned to teaching. Every time I step into that room, I feel it – that gentle activation of something primal and necessary. We move together, we breathe together, and in those moments of synchronised flow, I can actually feel my nervous system settling into safety.

There’s the laughter when we topple out of tree pose, the shared groan during a particularly challenging sequence, the reverberating sound of Ohm at the end of class that fills the room and our bodies and quiet “namaste” that carries genuine gratitude.

This is what the research points to but can’t quite capture – the warmth of being truly seen, the relief of letting your guard down, the joy of shared struggle and shared accomplishment. When the social engagement system is activated, the body enters a state of calmness and relaxation that promotes social interaction and co-regulation.

I watch it happen every time: tense shoulders drop, worried faces soften, isolated individuals become part of something larger than themselves. We’re not just stretching muscles; we’re activating ancient pathways of connection. We’re reminding our vagus nerves, our hearts, our whole beings, that we belong.

The Practice of Presence

What I’ve learned, both from the science and from the mat, is that community isn’t just about proximity – it’s about presence. It’s about showing up, consistently and authentically. It’s about creating spaces where people feel safe enough to be vulnerable, to struggle, to breathe together through difficulty.

In our classes, we don’t just teach poses; we practice the art of being together. The banter before class, the check-ins, the way we hold space for each other’s challenges – all of it matters. All of it feeds that deep human hunger for belonging that our fast-paced, digitally connected world so often fails to satisfy.

I’m grateful – deeply, bone-deep grateful – for this community. For every person who walks through that door seeking connection, even if they don’t name it that way. For the privilege of witnessing people come back to themselves, come back to each other, week after week.

An Invitation

If there’s one thing I want to share from both the research and my own experience, it’s this: your body knows what it needs. When you feel that pull toward community, that desire to be with others in real, breathing, laughing, struggling, living proximity – trust it. That’s your vagus nerve, your social engagement system, your evolutionary wisdom calling you home.

Find your mat, your choir, your book club, your running group, your community garden. Find your people and show up for them. Because as M. Scott Peck reminds us: “There can be no vulnerability without risk; there can be no community without vulnerability; there can be no peace, and ultimately no life, without community.”

We were built for this. Our nervous systems sing when we’re together. Our health improves, our resilience grows, our joy multiplies.

The body remembers what we’ve forgotten: we are meant to belong.

And in that belonging, we find not just connection, but something close to grace.

Thank you for reading! If you found this post helpful, please share it with others who might benefit. Feel free to leave a comment or reach out to me directly.

About the Author

Louise Neicho is a yoga and mindfulness teacher based in Hertfordshire, UK, specialising in nature-connected practice. She integrates ancient wisdom with contemporary approaches through her teaching, writing, and research, helping students cultivate presence and deepen their relationship with the natural world.

Connect with Louise at woodlandyoga.co.uk, louise@woodlandyoga.co.uk,

or follow @louwoodlandyoga on Instagram and @woodlandyogaheartwood on Facebook.

Sources and Further Reading

UK Loneliness Statistics

Campaign to End Loneliness, “Loneliness in numbers” (citing Community Life Survey 2019-20)
https://www.lonelinessawarenessweek.org/statistics

UK Government, Community Life Survey 2019/20
https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/community-life-survey-201920

Tanner, W., Krasniqi, F. & Blagden, J., “The Age of Alienation,” UK Onward, 2021
https://www.ukonward.com/reports/the-age-of-alienation/

Polyvagal Theory & Social Connection

Porges, Stephen W., “Polyvagal Theory: A biobehavioral journey to sociality,” Comprehensive Psychoneuroendocrinology, 2021
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2666497621000436

Polyvagal Institute, “What is Polyvagal Theory?”
https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory

Health Impacts of Social Connection

World Health Organization, “Social connection linked to improved health and reduced risk of early death,” June 2025
https://www.who.int/news/item/30-06-2025-social-connection-linked-to-improved-heath-and-reduced-risk-of-early-death
Note: This WHO report is the source for health benefits and risks mentioned in the blog